Blog for what?

I tried, but to no avail. Earning money through advertisements on blogs doesn't work for me. It has been months now since I placed Google ads and Nuffang on my blog, but i haven't earned any cents due to low traffic.

What in the world has blogging become? For money or for interest of blogging. With the recent increase of bloggers over the whole world, I came to realize that it is the former; as bloggers are constantly trying to get traffic and to the extent of blogging nonsense stuff.

Having blogged for more than 4 years; since year 2004, I always thought blogs are meant to be personal and filled with personal things like their mundane lives and daily rantings or such, but recent blogs i visited are full of "copies" and "non-originals".

Blogging had been degraded into such a state where bloggers blog just to capture attention and to increase their traffic. what's worse is that blogger giants like Xiaxue and Dawn yang had begun to defame and sue each other over trivial matters; like who is prettier and who's more of a hobbit or who's more plastic. Blogger Fragrant Prince was brought to task for his racist stunt.

Not that i deny i tried doing so; which i never did? Post rubbish? No way!!! Seriously!!! But I just came to my senses, that it should be time to get back to blog about my own life again. At the same time, I believe that bloggers should have the rights to blog what ever they want to blog, after all, a blog is just an online diary. No? As long as the materials doesn't crash/collide with the blogger's country Laws, constitutions and statutes; i.e racism.

So, why did I blog? My goal/resolution for blogging since day one (05 Apr 2004), was that I would be able to read my past experience when I grow old and wrinkled and to remind myself, how much I have changed since then. I would hold onto that resolution. I always love to write, maybe an autobiography or complile my blog into a book; like the Diary of Anne Frank. (:

Call It Stormy Monday

Its the last day of June, Its Monday, urrrggghh. . . I have 1000 and 1 things to do at work, so many Computers to format, so many computers to repair, so many things to do, yet so little time.

yet amid these 1001 things, this song seems to sing my current feelings and thoughts out.

CALL IT STORMY MONDAY (Walker)

They call it stormy Moday, but Tuesday's just as bad
They call it stormy Moday, but Tuesday's just as bad
Wednesday's worse, and Thursday's also sad

Yes the eagle flies on Friday, and Saturday I go out to play
Eagle flies on Friday, and Saturday I go out to play
Sunday I go to church, then I kneel down and pray

Lord have mercy, Lord have mercy on me
Lord have mercy, my heart's in misery
Crazy about my baby, yes, send her back to me

A Wave of Unexplainable Emotions

All curled up in bed like a baby, it was late into the night. I was laying there, trying to fall asleep, when a wave of emotions swept through me and tears began welling in my eyes. It was unexplainable. I wasn't sad, I wasn't depressed, I wasn't angry. I was just being myself, in that very mood-less state...

As the tears built up, I was put on this expressway of thoughts and emotions, searching for a reason why I suddenly became like this. What was it that caused this emotional tidal wave? I need to know.

There were many options, many scenes that were brought back in to memory as I went through the library of past events in my head. Many things in the past, does not bother me anymore. Unhappy things that happened, like stresses during work, quarrels, people problems, do not mean anything to me anymore. Why? Why this sudden rush of emptiness?

Then I thought about the chain of event which happened more recently, and remembered the exchange of SMS-es with a certain someone whose choice of words wasn't very pleasant; who didn't see my point and thought I couldn't play, made feel even worse. I begun to wonder, what have I been playing thus far?

I am perplexed, confused, cornered, stuck, frustrated, irritated, not satisfied, unfulfilled, very disappointed, disillusioned. Its all coming at me.... every-thing's a blur......

Someone call SOS for me.... I'm sinking... sinking into a bottomless pit, into the Dark Hole..... I can't get out... I'm wallowing in that place where I can't pick myself up..... What happened? AAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa......................

As I stood at the crossroad of thoughts, I asked myself, "Did I choose the right path? or should I just accept my fate". I am tired. 我真的很累.

feelings shows...

like the movies. . .

"两个人上车，为什么三个人会下车呢？"asks my dad.

Dad was just sharing that a Malay couple; pregnant lady and her husband got into his taxi on Sunday 18Th May 2008, then directed him to drive to Singapore General Hospital (SGH) as the wife was about to be in labour. On the way, the lady gave birth in the taxi as the baby's legs popped out already, and in the next few moments, the body, then the head followed.

The lady's husband was frantic, knowing not what to do, He kept asking my dad what to do. My dad told him to take off his shirt to wrap the baby.

The baby was crying and the newborn's father hurried my dad to go to SGH as soon as possible. But due to the distance of SGH, my dad told him, that He will drive to KK hospital instead.

As soon as they arrived KK Hospital, my dad got off the taxi and went to ask nurses to come to attend to the newborn child; cut the umbilical cord and stuff.

After they left the car, my dad drove off. Ever thought what would be on the birth certificate for the blank: Place of Birth? Maybe my dad's taxi.

Anyway, my dad picked up the same couple again on 19Th May 2008, without realizing it's the same couple He drove and witness the birth of their new born, But the newborn's Father recognized my dad immediately and Thanked my dad, gave my dad some money (taxi fare, cos they forgot to pay the other day).

BTW, the lady told my dad its her 5th child thus far. Amazing isn't it? Witnessing birth in a taxi and meeting the couple again? Just like the movies.

人生就是八个字：生老病死，喜怒哀乐！but whether good or bad; Thank God.

terrible news

my supervisor told me around 4.30pm today that i would be required to report to work at 12AM *WTF* on 22nd April. Tuesday to do networking with him for GaX. . . baka!!! So DumB!!! I really regret applying for this job. it just sux.

I left work at 5.58 Pm today even thought i arrived at 8.44pm. I cant stand this work. its shit job. damn it.

EMO RuleZ all

A fellow Friend of mine was just talking to me the other day about how "emo-lution" has taken over the world. It's almost as if the kids today chose to look like they'd just "amputated" their calves - just so they can fit into skintight clothes two sizes smaller", he said. And you know what? The more I thought about it, the more I realizes ti was true. Take a look at ehe streets these days. It is almost impossible to stroll from one shopping complex to another without bumbing into an "emo kid", aka someone who is decked out in any two of the following:

a) Skinny Jeans,
b) "Cons" (code word for Converse Sneakers),
c) A scarf (we're talking about the thick ones, here),
d) Bangs that have grown way past their eyes.

Oh, yes... the "emo" look is something we're definitely too aware of. One has to be blind and a closet hermit not to realize that this sub-music genre - once an exclusive term for describing emotionally charged punk rock - has evolved into another fashion statement, if not a pervasive subculture. Just like disco, rock and roll, skin-cinching leather pants and Elvis Presley's side-burns, "emo" has made music and fashion inseparable. Problem is: we have too many "emo" poseurs walking around town, looking like the world owes them a leg, an arm, or worse - their amputated calves.

- an excerpt from L33T Magazine April'2008 Issue.

Well, I guess, i will do the world a favor and join the "emo" craze. amputate my calves please. . .

Anyway, Choon Kiat caught me blogging. But i managed to brush him off saying i was merely typing the above excerpt into the blog. *phew*

I was tasked to install Linux on a computer. It completely sucks; as i have no idea how to. Then i was told to install myphp, mysql and apache server on that computer. arrrgggh. I really don't know how, but managed to bluff and fake my way through.

After work, I went to buy socks for my mom, Reebok Women's Socks cost 17.90 for 3pairs. Then I went to meet up with someone on the hwz's marketplace forum whom I arranged earlier to buy a pair of ear phones; Creative EP-630 from him. Good thing he stays in Yishun too. The ear phones were totally brand new, seal and i got it $10 off retail price. Great deal. As i plug them into my mp3, They felt great and sounded great too, Bass was booming as my favorite band; My Chemical Romance plays through.

With all the Stress at work, I thought I could just unwind back at school, with my cca peeps. But unfortunately, that is not so. I am terribly disappointed. I know i don't have close section mates to clique with, nor good friends to tell my woes to. But I thought I could at least enjoy myself there, but i didn't and i can't.

nobody understands me; how i feel. I want to die already.

even when i say, i want to quit, they take me as though i am kidding. i guess, i am just gonna do it.

I m ELMO without L these days

You are sorta emo. You listen to Radiohead and enjoy their eclectic sound, but haven't pushed past into the underground indie subculture. The closest to emo attire that you own is maybe a few band t-shirts and tight jeans.

AreYouEmo.com