All curled up in bed like a baby, it was late into the night. I was laying there, trying to fall asleep, when a wave of emotions swept through me and tears began welling in my eyes. It was unexplainable. I wasn't sad, I wasn't depressed, I wasn't angry. I was just being myself, in that very mood-less state...As the tears built up, I was put on this expressway of thoughts and emotions, searching for a reason why I suddenly became like this. What was it that caused this emotional tidal wave? I need to know.
There were many options, many scenes that were brought back in to memory as I went through the library of past events in my head. Many things in the past, does not bother me anymore. Unhappy things that happened, like stresses during work, quarrels, people problems, do not mean anything to me anymore. Why? Why this sudden rush of emptiness?
Then I thought about the chain of event which happened more recently, and remembered the exchange of SMS-es with a certain someone whose choice of words wasn't very pleasant; who didn't see my point and thought I couldn't play, made feel even worse. I begun to wonder, what have I been playing thus far?
I am perplexed, confused, cornered, stuck, frustrated, irritated, not satisfied, unfulfilled, very disappointed, disillusioned. Its all coming at me.... every-thing's a blur......
Someone call SOS for me.... I'm sinking... sinking into a bottomless pit, into the Dark Hole..... I can't get out... I'm wallowing in that place where I can't pick myself up..... What happened? AAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa......................
As I stood at the crossroad of thoughts, I asked myself, "Did I choose the right path? or should I just accept my fate". I am tired. 我真的很累.
feelings shows...
