theblankstars;: My thoughts revealed.

With the start of this new semester, marks my 1st anniversary with SPSB's clarinet section. I want to thank its players and peers for giving me the chance to play with them.

I do not know, but some people may think that I am proud and full of arrogance. But the fact is that I actually do not mix well with people and have problems communicating to people I do not know well. I don’t know why, but I have the inferior complexity, which makes me always feel left out, not needed and redundant. I don’t feel needed. :'(

I have been very thankful and I know that i am very privileged to be able to play on the Contra Bass Clarinet; as there are not many Contras in Singapore but yet, I always complain and want to play other version of the clarinet which is smaller. I apologize for this action. But as the Chinese saying goes, 寂寞难挨. It is a known fact that it is kind of lonely sitting on the high chair by oneself. Being unable to interact with people in the section as the highchair is usually placed in the farthest position of the 2nd row; else the 3rd row, made me felt worse. I have been unable to express my thoughts thus far till now.

I have been unable to cope well with stress caused by my internship, it is truly a traumatic experience, which ends on 15 Aug' 2008. I would like to take a break from SPSB and continue after my attachment ends. Maybe in the next few months, when I feel better, I might be back just in time for IBM.

I would also like to take the opportunity to apologize to fellow members whom I have hurt in anyway by means of words or actions. I am sorry for causing you distress or had troubled you in one way or another.

With this, I sincerely hope SPSB’s clarinet section will continue to grow and prosper, and to outshine its predecessors.